Smolder

How well do you know your partner? 80 questions

Eighty how-well-do-you-know-me questions for couples — favorites, tells, and the stuff you should know by now. Quiz them. Then switch.

Updated 2026-08-10

Building a relationship that lasts is asking the right questions after you already know the easy ones.

This how-well-do-you-know-me list is a quiz. One of you answers in your head. The other guesses out loud. Then you switch. If you only want to talk, use 100 questions for couples instead.

How to play

Keep score on a napkin if you must. No humiliation prizes. When they miss, tell the truth kindly — that is the whole game.

Warm-up (1–20)

  1. What do I order when I do not want to think?
  2. How do I take my coffee or tea — really?
  3. What is my fake-fine face?
  4. What song do I put on when I am in a mood?
  5. What is my side of the bed, and would I admit it?
  6. What do I always forget at the store?
  7. What is my rain plan?
  8. What show could I rewatch without shame?
  9. What time do I actually get hungry at night?
  10. What is my “leave me alone for twenty minutes” tell?
  11. Who is my emergency call that is not you?
  12. What is a smell I love?
  13. What is a texture I hate?
  14. What is my airport personality?
  15. What do I always overpack?
  16. What is my go-to comfort food?
  17. What is a compliment I never believe?
  18. What is a compliment I melt for?
  19. What is my Sunday morning if nobody needs me?
  20. What do I always notice on a walk that you miss?

Daily life (21–40)

  1. How do I want to be greeted at the door this year?
  2. What does my stress look like before I say I am stressed?
  3. What helps when I am spiraling — quiet, hug, or help?
  4. What chore do I secretly not mind?
  5. What chore makes me petty?
  6. What is my spending leak?
  7. What is a thing I pretend not to care about that I care about?
  8. How do I want you to act when I have a win at work?
  9. How do I want you to act when I fail?
  10. What is my social battery after a dinner?
  11. What is a boundary I need with my family?
  12. What is a boundary I need with yours?
  13. What time do I actually want to leave a party?
  14. What is my jealous tell — if I have one?
  15. What is my flirty tell?
  16. What should you never joke about?
  17. What joke can you always make?
  18. What is my current small dream I have not pitched as a plan?
  19. What am I tired of explaining?
  20. What do I wish you would just remember?

History (41–60)

  1. What is a childhood food I still want?
  2. Who was I trying to impress at 17?
  3. What is a teacher or boss who changed me?
  4. What is a trip I still talk about?
  5. What is a heartbreak that is not about you?
  6. What is a win I do not mention enough?
  7. What did I want to be before I got practical?
  8. What is a family tradition I want to keep?
  9. What is a family tradition I want to skip?
  10. What is my most embarrassing public story I will still tell?
  11. What is a fear I had when we started that I do not have now?
  12. What is a fear that showed up later?
  13. What is a gift I still have?
  14. What is a song that is a time machine?
  15. What is a place that still makes me nervous?
  16. What is a place that still makes me brave?
  17. What did I believe about money growing up?
  18. What did I believe about arguing growing up?
  19. What is a rumor about me that is half true?
  20. What is a story about us I tell better than you do?

Deeper, still kind (61–80)

  1. What do I need after we argue before I can be sweet?
  2. How do I like to be invited closer when I am tired?
  3. What makes me feel desired that is not a performance?
  4. What makes me feel safe in a room of people?
  5. What is a way you can take my side in public?
  6. What is a hope I have for us I have not said this month?
  7. What is something I want more of in bed that I will say in a sentence?
  8. What is something I want more of not in bed?
  9. What is a yes I wish you would offer?
  10. What is a no I need you to trust?
  11. What do I want our ordinary month to feel like?
  12. What do I want our next year to include that is not a purchase?
  13. What do I worry you will get bored of?
  14. What do I hope you never get bored of?
  15. How do I want to be woken up?
  16. How do I want to fall asleep?
  17. What would make me feel chosen this week?
  18. What is a Soft Spot of mine you already know and should use tonight?
  19. What is a Soft Spot you have not found yet?
  20. What question about me are you still guessing?

If the score is ugly, good. You just found the next Dual. Quizzes in Smolder feed Soft Spots you can use — not a leaderboard.

Questions people ask

What are good how well do you know me questions for couples?
Mix easy facts (order, tell, morning) with things that change (stress, desire, this month). If every question is trivia from year one, you are not asking about the person in the room.
How do you play how well do you know me with a partner?
One of you is the answer key. The other guesses. Then you switch. Keep score only if it stays kind. The point is the miss, not the trophy.

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