Smolder

120 this or that questions for couples

One hundred twenty this-or-that questions for couples — talk it out, keep score if you want, and find the mismatches that are actually interesting.

Updated 2026-08-11

Fancy a game of this or that? It is the lowest-friction couples game that still tells you something.

Both pick. Say it together. If you match, fine. If you do not, that is the interesting part. Keep it moving — this is not a deposition.

For a fuller conversation, use 100 questions. For private wants, Yes/No.

Easy (1–40)

  1. Coffee or tea
  2. Morning person or night person (be honest)
  3. Beach or mountain
  4. City weekend or nowhere weekend
  5. Cook or order
  6. Spicy or mild
  7. Window or aisle
  8. Early flight or late
  9. Museum or walk with no plan
  10. Live music or a record at home
  11. Comedy or thriller
  12. Books or long articles
  13. Text or voice note
  14. Call or just show up
  15. Big party or four people
  16. Host or go to theirs
  17. Dress up or the good hoodie
  18. Photos of the night or none
  19. Sunrise or sunset
  20. Road trip or one place, stay
  21. Tent or cheap hotel
  22. Snow or rain
  23. Summer or fall
  24. Sweet or salty
  25. Chocolate or vanilla
  26. Pizza or tacos
  27. Leftovers or something new
  28. Sit at the bar or a table
  29. Long walk or long bath
  30. Gym or a walk that counts
  31. Team game or solo game
  32. Competitive or cooperative
  33. Win or play
  34. Playlist or one album
  35. Lyrics or beat
  36. Dancing or absolutely not
  37. Karaoke or never
  38. Board game or cards
  39. Trivia or charades
  40. Inside joke or a new one

How you live (41–80)

  1. Talk it out now or later tonight
  2. Space first or hug first
  3. Plan the weekend or wake up and see
  4. Calendar everything or keep it loose
  5. Split chores by job or by day
  6. Shop with a list or wander
  7. Save or a nice bottle this Friday
  8. Tell friends everything or keep us quiet
  9. PDA or private
  10. Pet names in public or never
  11. Meet in the middle or take turns
  12. Drive or navigate
  13. You cook, I clean — or reverse
  14. Guests on the couch or a hotel
  15. Holidays with your people or mine this year
  16. Big gift or a letter
  17. Surprise me or tell me the plan
  18. Quality time or a useful errand together
  19. Silence in the car or a podcast
  20. News in the morning or not
  21. Phones at dinner or a bowl by the door
  22. Same bedtime or different
  23. Big talk in the kitchen or on a walk
  24. Joke first or sincere first
  25. Check in at lunch or leave me in peace
  26. Watch me try or help immediately
  27. Cheer in public or a look is enough
  28. Remember the date or remember the small thing
  29. Repair fast or repair right
  30. Say the hard thing or write it first
  31. Ask out loud or start with touch
  32. Slow morning or out the door
  33. Weekend project or weekend nothing
  34. One best friend hang or we both go
  35. Share the location or I will text
  36. Open relationship with the thermostat — hot or cold
  37. Lights on low or dark
  38. Music in bed or quiet
  39. Long kiss or a pile of short ones
  40. Stay in tonight or one drink out

A little more (81–120)

  1. Flirty text or a look across the room
  2. Plan later or later just happens
  3. Take the lead or be led
  4. Talk first or start
  5. New place or the usual
  6. Dress of mine you like or the old shirt
  7. Hand on the back or hand on the neck
  8. Morning or night (for us)
  9. Quick or we have time
  10. Dare or truth
  11. Dice or cards
  12. Scratch-off or spin
  13. Dual or a quiz
  14. Love note or a photo
  15. Whisper or say it at the table
  16. Burn after read or keep it
  17. Slow Burn day or a clean night
  18. Heat: playful or a step braver
  19. Yes/No or just ask
  20. Widget on the home screen or I will open the app
  21. Matching sweatshirts or we would never
  22. Couple name or our names are enough
  23. Anniversary big or anniversary true
  24. Valentine’s as a joke or we actually try
  25. Halloween costumes or we hand out candy
  26. New Year’s out or on the couch
  27. Birthday surprise or birthday known
  28. Concert in the rain or we leave
  29. Last train or we stay
  30. Tell my friends I am crazy about you — or I already did
  31. Dance in the kitchen or we burn the toast
  32. Steal your fries or order my own
  33. Your hoodie or my hoodie on you
  34. Forehead kiss or mouth
  35. “I missed you” or “I wanted you”
  36. One more question or we are done
  37. This list again next month or a new one
  38. Keep score or no score
  39. Winner picks tomorrow’s date or we both pick
  40. Smolder tonight or we already did

Stop while you are still laughing. If a mismatch actually matters, stay on it. That is Dual with a grin.

Questions people ask

What are good this or that questions for couples?
Mix easy (beach or mountain) with how you live (talk first or touch first, stay in or go out). The mismatches are the game.
How do you play this or that with your partner?
Read one pair. Both pick at the same time. Argue for ten seconds. Next. Stop while it is still fun.

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